What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do you know what she said mum?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.